Those of you familiar with online streaming site Twitch probably know a lot more about speedruns than I do—we’re actually working on launching our own account for that site—but that doesn’t mean I can’t be knocked out of my seat by what some of these people are capable of. That’s especially true when I see a headline pop up in my Feedly about some dude beating three Nintendo 64 classics—Super Mario 64, Goldeneye 007, and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time—in under an hour at the same damn time.
Look, I don’t even want to think about how he came up with the idea to do this, but it’s actually pretty frightening/incredible when you see him in action. Basically, the guy (Karl Jobst is his name) hooked up three N64s and played the games at once, which you already knew. But would you have thought, Hey, I can use the downtime during cutscenes to progress through other games since I can’t skip them? Um, no, Karl, I didn’t think of that, but then again I never would because I’ve never attempted anything remotely close to a speedrun in my… WRONG.
I have to hand it to Karl for picking Goldeneye 007 as one of his three games of choice here, because that’s actually the only game in which I’ve performed something resembling a speedrun. Back when my brother and I were trying to get all the cheats, many of which were attainable after blasting your way through the level, I became obsessed with getting the fastest time I could on Facility. Remember? You had to complete it in 2 minutes and five seconds to unlock the invincibility cheat? Well, I wanted to demolish that time, and I think I got close to 90 seconds… If not that, then I definitely finished the level in 1 minute and 40 seconds, but, again, I can’t remember the exact time.
That all being said, reminiscing on my Goldeneye speedrun-ish attempts make me realize that it’s probably pretty easy to get swept up in this type of gaming-inducing madness. Sure, you’re not really playing the games, per se, but figuring out how to do this, especially all at once, is worth writing about. I just don’t understand how anyone could plow through Ocarina of Time like that. YOU MISS ALL THE FEELS!